A sailboat, a tribute, a hole-in-one: Two lives, unforgettable

The metal arm of the lift bounced slightly up and down as it bore her up and over the dark water lapping noisily between the sailboat and the dock. Dolores’ eyes bore steadily into mine as I cheerfully smiled and chirped about how much fun we were clearly having. Her portable oxygen tank secured onto the seat, her husband, Lou, ensconced across from her, Dolores was going sailing.

If she thought this was amazing, perhaps it was I who was most entranced by what was happening.  Here I was helping this woman cross an item off her bucket list.  I had never known she had always wanted to go sailing.  I had extended the invitation to her on a whim, because adaptive sailing was one of the summer programs I was running that year.

Dolores and Lou Price were among some of my biggest supporters, even well before RAA ever started, and certainly as I began working on its formation. They were even the first RAA financial donors.  They bought the first raffle tickets to the first RAA-ising the Bar fundraiser, they wrote the first donation check when I figured out how to have a donation page for the organization, they came to the first Kayaking and Cycling Extravaganza at Erie Canal Boat Company (although I don’t think cycling or kayaking were on either of their to-do lists).

They were also my  parents-in-law.

Most of my relationship with Dolores and Lou fell outside of the forming of Rochester Accessible Adventures — indeed, while 2020 marks the beginning of only the 5th year of RAA, I have known Dolores and Lou for 20 years.  Dolores, a fun-loving, fierce woman driven by the wish for capital P ‘Peace’, and Justice, and Equity, died in 2016 the day after her 87th birthday.  Lou, a World War II veteran, and very much a “do-it-yourselfer”, died this month on January 19, 2020 at the age of 92.  Now seems very much an ‘end of an era’, certainly an end to Life as we have known it. 

There are so many memories of Dolores and Lou that we will carry with us, and for me, for right now, I offer you a few observations as a tribute of sorts to these two beings who made an indelible mark on the world.

Scooters and wheelchairs are fabulous, and accessible pathways take some of the (mis)adventure out of traversing the world.

Dolores was not fond of having to learn to drive a scooter in her later years; indeed, driving a car was never something she enjoyed, and the scooter just seemed somehow to insult her pride when it would veer (“all by itself!”) too close to some object.  Off-roading, then, was really NOT one of her bucket-list items.  Communities that have added in stone-dust or paved pathways to access such amenities as outdoor gazebos and bandstands (such as Victor Parks and Recreation’s 2019 addition which she sadly didn’t get to try out) were definitely on her “yes” list.  Dolores loved Universal Design.

 

Had they played golf, an adaptive golf cart would have been the key to Dolores and Lou playing longer.

I only ever got to see them play miniature golf. (Dolores notoriously putted a hole-in-one on the 18th hole at the iconic, historic Whispering Pines!)  But if they had played big golf, it would have been the adaptive golf cart that made it worth it for them to try to navigate the terrain.  No one likes the thought of only being able to drive their ball down to the green but not being able to putt it in.  Every golf course should have at least one adaptive golf cart on the premises throughout the season, and have staff trained in how to teach guests to use it.  And, although she never got to try it, I’m pretty sure her scooter or wheelchair wouldn’t have worked too well on most miniature golf courses. Just think how many more people would play golf — big and mini — into their golden years if courses and carts were accessible!

 

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. (Alfred Lord Tennyson said this first.)

There is a tremendous space left that Dolores and Lou once filled, but what the Universe gained from having them present outweighs our loss and we would never trade it.  Our 16+ years sharing the backyard and the wrap-around front porch of a two family home made our family’s lives inexorably mingled so that on no day were they absent from our consciousness. Dolores and Lou were caregivers from his birth to our now 11 year old son, co-conspirators on many an adventure, and teachers about growing older (never ‘old’), persevering with some semblance of grace (a queenly wave and royal smile serve one well), and staying engaged in Life no matter how much you slow down (“this IS fast!”).

Whether you met them or not, I know that we are all greater people because these two lived amongst us.

Fair winds, Dolores and Lou, may the wind be always at your back